Friends

I am at my wits end these days. I am strangely ill at ease with most of the people I meet. I don’t find them ``my type’’ and they don’t fancy me either. I don’t blame them.
Is it old age? Nah, I brush the thought aside. But, it is a fact that I, for reasons unknown, cant seem to like the new people in my life and more often than not, have problems with the way they think and, perhaps more importantly, the way they interpret friendships and friends.
It’s strange because the best friends I made are still thick with me. I cannot possibly end my day without having messaged them or spoken to them or at least having thought of them. Calling them up suddenly late in the night, or simply dragging them out of office for a film or bhutta at Marine Drive on a pleasant windy rainy day in Bombay or to discuss an unpleasant day in office over Britannia slice cakes and coffee sitting cross legged in the local train hoping that my station would not come for at least another hour__ they all appear to be distant memories.
Going for long drives listening to `dil mein jaagi dhadkan aise’, a song from the film `Sur' , and sharing life’s details without any concern of being judged. And of course, calling them up at weird hours for directions to this place or that place. Yeah… I didn’t know where Kala Ghoda was. I kept discovering Bombay through the eyes of my friends.
I cannot imagine being as spontaneous with anyone right now. I cannot think of one person whom I can call for directions. I cant think of one person whom I can spend a rather enjoyable evening with without having exchanged a single word. I can’t think of one person who can give my story a dispassionate read and ask me to rewrite it from scratch. I can’t think of one person who would understand my silence and interpret the way I would want it to be interpreted. I can’t think of one person whom I can proudly `own’ as a friend. I have none here. The ones I have are not in Hyderabad. I miss them.
Until I see them again, I can only wonder why God stopped making more such people. Perhaps I am no longer the same person.